Many guys doubt that the pick up arts actually work, others want to see a “master” in action to learn how it is done.

Not sure how long this video is going to stay up on youtube so I would watch ASAP!

Now for the set up- this is a clip from a promotion for Neil Strauss’s Stylelife Academy. All of us, the Stylelife coaches, took a trip to Miami beach to shoot some in field video. We did this to prove that it doesn’t matter where you are that it still works, in case we got in trouble or creeped everyone out by using the same canned lines and having 4 guys follow me around, we could leave and never see anyone again! (we didn’t want to ruin the cool spots that we hang out at in Hollywood)

I open with my Facebook Stalker opener (which is in the new version of Neil Strauss’s Rules of The Game) the video fades out but I use the rest of the routine stack that then lead into her and her friends being cool with me isolating her. During that I ran a few more routines and number closed her, where I have her write her number on my arm with a sharpie marker. I LOVE having girls do that because every set you approach after sees this girl’s name and phone number on your arm and it shows preselection and gives you tons of social proof!

Also for the guys who watch this, this isn’t really my style of game. It was shot to specifically demo a routine stack. Everyone who knows me or has read my Field Reports know I am much more direct and natural. My take on becoming a PUA is the same way I taught martial arts or firearms training.

Learn it

Absorb it

Forget it

Let me know what you think , ignore the sales stuff (it is over) and if you guys like will post the follow up text messages after this which led to her coming over to my hotel room, me having a married chick leave minutes before she showed up, us have fun (3 times) and also the funny text messages I was sending back and forth to a wrong number before I got her!

Many times while you are on your PUA journey, you may think about throwing in the towel. That it is too difficult to keep dealing with rejection or maybe even worse, settling for someone because you want to take the easy road out.

Some of the guys I went out with seriously contemplated quitting many times, some acted like quitting was the LAST thing they would ever do, they talked a big game and were here for the long haul no matter what. Then slowly they would get busy and I wouldn’t hear from them. While a few just flat out quit right when we started and dropped off the face of the earth never to be heard from or seen again…

Being the head coach for Stylelife and running the forum for the last few years, weekly I would receive private messages or emails from new guys all telling me to “keep an eye on me, because soon people will mention my name when they talk about Bravo, Style, and Mystery!” I knew that within a few weeks they would slowly disappear, many times that PM was as far as they would go.

I get asked from students all the time, “what kept you motivated when you thought about quitting?

The truth, I never thought about quitting.

The motivation I had to learn the PUA arts was SO powerful that quitting not only wasn’t an option, it was never even a thought.

Now I will admit, maybe my motivation wasn’t the most positive, but it was strong. So strong that it helped force me to go out multiple times a week to all the places I hated (or thought I hated) and test all the stuff I had little faith in.

What was my original motivation?

SPITE

I just KNEW that one day I would run into my X, maybe at the grocery store, or the bar, or where ever, and it was my goal to make sure that when that day happened she would see me looking awesome, surrounded by women and realize that she had fucked up!

Funny thing is, that day never happened.

Actually I still have not seen her again since things officially ended.

“Success breeds confidence” – Beryl Markham (first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic)

Only a few months into my journey, the spite slowly faded away and was replaced with confidence.

I  KNEW what I was doing was working, I was getting girls I thought I never had a shot with. They were wanting to go out with me, date me, and sleep with me. Once I got to that place, that was all the motivation I needed!

As soon as those successes started stacking up, I didn’t have to search for something to motivate me anymore. I knew that each night I went out something awesome would happen and that was all I needed.

Soon my “spite game” was gone, but what I truly believe what made it so powerful was because it wasn’t just a general reason like we hear all the time.

• improve my life
• get a girlfriend
• become more social

It was a specific reason, something that I could zero in on if any seeds of doubt entered my head.

So I want you to think about this, what is your motivation? Why are you learning this?

You can still have the general reasons everyone lists, but really focus and pick one specific thing that is motivating you to learn some PUA skills.

Make it a good one, because when you get shot down for the one hundredth time and are wondering if this is all worth it, hope that what motivates you right now is strong enough to overcome the doubt.

Otherwise you are just wasting your time.

And like I always say, as a guy who went from the bottom to the top of the ladder, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Think it’s time I write something about this.  The amount of messages I am getting asking the SAME question is insane.

Seems like many guys think they have what it takes to do what I do……. or at least think they do.

Also seems like many guys think I should come out to THEM to see their stuff…….

If you guys read THE GAME, think about how all the main guys got to that point where others were asking them to teach them?

Go out and sarge, try crazy shit, crash and burn, have insane nights out and Field Reports.  Get on a forum and get advice when you need it.  HELP others who need it.  Get your skills honed to a fucking razor’s edge.  Get back on the forums and help more people out.  Get KNOWN, get a rep for giving out solid advice.  Have posts that coaches can go and read and see where you are coming from and where you have been.  Let us see you helping out your brother’s as they are trying to learn this amazing art.

Just because you have solid game doesn’t mean you can teach for shit.  I have known MANY amazing martial artists, shooters, and talented men who cannot for the life of them teach it, usually they are the first to admit that.

I also know guys who are decent but AMAZING instructors.

I happen to be both.

You need to talk the talk and walk it.  But you also need to be able to work with someone and see where they need help, break it down so they can understand it, and give them what they need to succeed.

I did some mini workshops with friends to bring them up to speed so they could roll with us when we would go out back in the day before I even DREAMED of doing this as a job.

It took me almost a year of going out 3-4 nights a week, then staying up till like 5am debriefing with my wing, to get to this point.  Meeting up with guys on from the forum, going out with them, helping them break through sticking points.  Then adding more guys to our crew and helping them after.

It has been the most rewarding and demanding job I have ever had the honor of.  Helping guys learn lessons that I had to the hard way, saving them time and grief, helping them become the men they always wanted to be, getting the girlfriend of their dreams, and more….is a pretty sweet gig.  I go to bed each night knowing that I made a positive difference in this world.  (The rub is it takes even MORE time away from my personal life, so I have less time to work on these things!)

I worked my way up through the ranks.  Went to a seminar, met Neil Strauss (Style) and was asked to come on board.  Worked up from a Junior Coach, spoke at conferences, taught bootcamps, and made it to Senior Coach and was asked to move out to L.A. to work full time with Stylelife. A while later after running seminars and bootcamps I was promoted to Executive Coach and was in charge of the coaching cadre. In 2010 I formed my own company.

I already have our eye on some up and comers.  They are getting out there and kicking ass, posting on my forum, helping out their fellow men.  I only consider guys who I have met and have proven themselves as solid.

originally posted Jan 4, 2008 comments copied over

Little did I know that those 2 tiny words would start a chain reaction that would lead me down a painful and amazing path.

It went from “I Do” to “I want a divorce” in two years.

Two long years…

Long enough to own two cars, a four bedroom house, have a front yard with trees and bushes that had these fucking thorns that were two inches long, I would work on during the weekends.

Long enough to live next to a little kids playground, a few streets near a giant new park with basketball courts and a baseball field, walking distance to a MUCH nicer grade school than I ever went to, half a mile from a high school that is twice as impressive which would easily be driven to by a young adult with a shiny new driver’s license in their wallet. It was all planned out in my mind, from first steps, playing catch, working on a car, to graduation….

Those two years of my life are gone, all but erased from my mind. When I sit down and really think hard, it feel like trying to remember a dream from long ago. Even now writing this, it feels like I am remembering someone else’s thoughts, that they almost couldn’t have been mine.

After that, I decided I needed to change. Clearly I messed up. I fucked things up and ruined a perfect situation. It was something I did wrong to make things play out the way they did. So I began a journey, so it wouldn’t happen again.

On this journey I learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, realizing I wasn’t happy with the way I was and doing whatever it took to change that, it is more than most can handle.

Now five years later, I am back in Phoenix visiting from my new home in Los Angeles where I am living a life I never thought possible. Hanging out with my Dad, sister, brother, niece, this weekend and am closer to all of them than ever before. I talk to my mom every week, something I never did. Am closer to my friends and have found some really amazing ones. Found out I actually am pretty decent with the ladies, somehow got a job focusing on that, and now help guys all around the world learn from my previous mistakes, so they hopefully can not follow my painful path.

I found out that it wasn’t my fault.

I also found out that I am now happy.

originally posted April 25, 2008 comments copied over