How to handle flakes

One of the most misunderstood and most difficult to overcome sticking points for new guys.

 

Flakes

The fear of the approach is so powerful, that it quickly filters out the guys who aren’t committed to learning this stuff. But new guys who have very little experience getting numbers and getting dates start encountering “flakes” and their resolve and self confidence can get a bit shaky. Lucky for you, I am going to break this down so you can instantly understand what is going on…and you don’t have to spend a year trying to figure this out on your own (like I did back in 2006 which ultimately lead to the Bravo Number Close)

Guys (and AFC me) have so much trouble trying to understand this because we are still viewing the world thru AFC glasses, and have a distorted view on is actually going on.

The most important and first thing you need to understand is=

 

A reschedule is different than a flake

 

“Hey, something came up and I have to stay late at work tonight so I can’t meet you for a drink, can we hang out tomorrow?”

That COULD be a 100% legit excuse!mans since she is offering a reschedule date, that conveys that she WANTS to see you.

If she’s doesn’t offer a hard date and is more general with something like “maybe next week” then you should try to lock it down. If she is wishy washy on setting a time then respond back like a confident guy would with, “cool, well let me know when you are free and we can do something then  :)”

That way the ball is in her court, incase she IS wanting to see you, the door is still open and her getting back to you is her giving you a big GREEN LIGHT. This also saves time my time because I don’t think about her or the date again until she contacts me, and it prevents AFCs from contacting her too much and looking creepy. It also conveys that I am a man with other options.

When dealing with a legit reschedule, I give her 1 chance at another time. If she wants to see me, she will find away. If she is on the fence just trying to “politely” blow me off (wasting a guys time and giving him false hope isn’t the polite way ladies. This is a good example of woman logic. If she doesn’t have to deal with the repercussions. It doesn’t exist). Now there are always exceptions to the rules and one girl who is a nurse and was on call had to reschedule a few dates, and because I was attracted to her, I let it slide. I did however let it be known that any time that happened, she had to figure out a way to make it up to me…and she always did! 😉

 

Now a TRUE flake=  a chick blows you off, stands you up, leaves you hanging= fuck her.

Back in my AFC days, a flake would get me worried. (me being the super nice guy that I was)

  • She was digging me…and she wouldn’t do this, she’s not that type of girl….so something clearly happened…I wonder if she got into a car accident or something.
  • Is she OK?
  • I need to know.
  • Maybe she’s lost.
  • I better call her again.
  • No answer.
  • I better call her again.
  • Shit. No answer.
  • I’ll know, I’ll text letting her know it’s OK to blow me off!
  • “If you don’t want to go out with me that’s cool, I just want to make sure you are OK. Just text me so I know. Either way I wish you all the best. :)”

What a giant fucking pussy….that was still painful to just type out….too bad I am not the only one who knows that pain.

Why would you wish a person who just conveyed to you, that you aren’t even worth a few seconds of their time, the best.

 

Fuck them

 

Fuck them

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck them!!!

 

 

AFC think like this

Not adults who value their time!

Not MEN!

Our time is our most valuable asset, fuck anyone who wastes mine! (especially whoever invented the fucking automated telemarketer)

Just like fuckers on craigslist who never come by, and don’t call/text/email you saying they changed their mind and leave you waiting around the house for an hour waiting for them.

Fuck them! (got it?)

Bottom line.

If you built SOLID attraction, she wouldn’t flake on you.

—————————————————————-

example time-

Who do you think is the hottest chick in the world?

Megan Fox

Prime Angeline Jolie

Jessica Alba

Or maybe some dirty porn chick.

Whoever she is, it doesn’t matter. The analogy will work. For the sake of the story I’m going to use Natalie Portman.

To help with story

To help with story

Let’s say you bump into her in your home town. You approached her (because you decided FUCK IT and took a shot like a Boss) clicked and go for the number close.

“I actually don’t even have a phone right now. It got hacked and I’m going over to japan for a month for a movie. But give me your number and I PROMISE that I will call you when I get back and we will have a date”

What would you do?

Of course you’d give it to her!!

So a month goes by, you tell all of your friends about it, and as 30 days draw closer you start getting excited.

Every time the phone rings you get excited, only to look at the caller ID and see its work, or even worse. Mom.

A few weeks go by

A month or 2

4 months go by and you’ve finally accepted that she isn’t calling, none of your friends believe you and you are so bummed, you don’t even jack to her anymore.

Then the phone rings and it’s some weird number.

“Hello?”

“Hey……Stephen? It’s Natalie. I’m not sure if you remember me…”

“Natalie, of course I remember you…… what happened?”

“I am SOOOO sorry. I put your number in my purse, it got packed up, I looked for it everywhere, and I JUST found it and called you right away.

I really want to see you….if you still do?”

– of course we want to

“I’m in town this weekend, I have a suite at the Ritz and was wondering if you would want to come over, we can get room service and enjoy the hot tub that is in my room?”

– of course what would you say???

 

But, you have to work?

So what would you do?

Take time off? Call in sick? What if they won’t let you… quit your job?

What if it is your mom’s 60th birthday that weekend?

“Sorry mom. I’m sick. Cough cough. I can’t make it.”

Or are you cool enough with your mom-

“Hey mom, just got off the phone with Natalie Portman, we are hanging out this weekend, she’s in town, and we are hot tubbing, cool if I raincheck the bday?”

“Sure thing! Good luck Steve, wear a rubber, pretty sure she banged Russell Brand.”

“Shit, good memory, Thanks mom!”

Now why would I blow off mom’ bday for a chick that I don’t really know, and left my hanging for months?

Because she Natalie Fucking Portman, that’s why!!!!!!!!

She has SO much value (in my head), social proof, is hot, rich, basically she has +5000 attraction in my mind.

So if the girl you number closed last week only has +10 attraction in YOU, she might flake for any reason. If someone else comes along who rolls a +200 attraction, you get downgraded to a +2 and get blown off. Or since you only worked flash game, had a +200, but a day later, after she had time to think about things, and decided she didn’t like the pink boa as much as she thought….and the alien high five was more gay than cool, then that +200 turns into a -500 and her and her friends sit around making fun of you.

 

How do you fix this and prevent flakes?

By running solid game, that connects on a deeper level, that isn’t just flash game, and striking while the iron is hot ( locking in day 2 plans THEN, not days later).

Do that, and your flakes will basically disappear and reschedules rarely, if EVER happen. If they keep happening, then you aren’t running solid game.

I don’t even worry about flakes now. If a girl does flake, then that is her demonstrating her mindset (which clearly is not one I want to be around) that she clearly has bad taste (by not making the time to hang out with an awesome guy like me), or the third reason a chick will flake.

An emergency  actually came up and she couldn’t reschedule with me.

If that happens, then when she does reach out to me later, I have to hear a good excuse, believe her apology, and accept whatever offer she is making to “make it up to me”. If I’m not satisfied with all of those, then her ship has sailed.

Lastly, a simple way to prevent those AFC thoughts from ever building up is to have a texting relationship with her already established. So when she is getting ready to leave she texts to let you know. Maybe she texts you because you have to let her into the building from outside, or for any other reason you can think of. That way if she doesn’t text before your date, you already know and aren’t left swinging in the wind.

 

Simple

😀

The fattest fuck in the world can get a girl, why can’t you?

Not only does he have a GF, but she asked HIM to marry HER!

 

Paul Mason – once the world’s fattest man at 70st – has got engaged after his girlfriend popped the question.

Paul, 53, from Ipswich, Suffolk, immediately said “yes” to 8st Rebecca Mountain, 40, on ABC’s The View TV programme in America.

Ex postie Paul, now 22st, vowed to lose more weight. He said: “I don’t want to go down that aisle in a wheelchair.”

from: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/paul-mason-former-worlds-fattest-3023512

 

You jelly?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you suck with chicks and this doesn’t piss you off, IT SHOULD!!!

I blogged before about SPITE, and how it motivated me.

Many times while out in field on 1on1’s, my student would see a “douche” with a hottie and get pissed off.

I remember when I was in AFC-land, and would feel the same thing.

“why is she with that loser, why isn’t she with ME!”

Once you start leveling up you begin to understand that SHE doesn’t think he is a douche.

She thinks:

 

YOU ARE A DOUCHE

 

And, to make it even worse, you are also lazy because you don’t want to work on improving yourself, you just want-

“Someone to love me for ME”

Well guess what, either the real you SUCKS, or you do a shitty job at conveying the real you.

Either way, you are fucked.

Luckily, you can improve yourself in both of these areas, and if you really commit to change and bust your ass, not only will you get good with women, but….something awesome happens.

When you see some scrawny dork with a hottie, some fat tub like this SOB with a chick, or some guy who looks like Sloth from Goonies pulling some hot tail…you are happy for them.
Yep

 

Once you shift from the scarcity/ pussy poverty mindset into a pussy abundance mindset, seeing another guy with a pretty girl, having fun together= is a cool thing.

If anyone would have told me that I would think that years ago…no way I would have believed them, but it’s true.

So if you are already slacking on making 2014 your bitch, ME and The Bravohood are here to help.

If this fat fuck can get a chick, anyone can.

😀

 

What to say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend

Location: Scottsdale Mall

Date: Jan 5th 2013

Objective: demoing direct, day game for student during 1on1

Me= “So I have a question for you, do guys ever hit on you to try and take advantage of your SWEET discount”

 
HBSales Girl= “lol, not that I can remember” 🙂

 
Me= “Well, it’s happening to you NOW! You are incredibly sexy and I want to get to know you better” 😉

 

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”

 

The old “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND”.   A line that has crushed more dreams that the all the hoverboard rumors combined!

I get asked how to handle this on almost every first time Coaching Call.

So to save myself from having to explain it time and time again ;),  I am posting how I handle this here- to help all my Bravohood brothers!

 
First off you need to understand WHY she is bringing this up, which there are a few reasons she could

 

  1. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, and is trying to get you to stop hitting on her
  2. She has a serious boyfriend.
  3. She maybe has a boyfriend/ or someone she is into, and she is more attracted to him … for now

 

The first one is the worst. She is trying to be “nice” about blowing you off, which many guys take as-

“ya she was digging my shit and she wanted my D, BUTTTTTT she had a BF”

When really she was just creeped out by him and said it to get him to leave her alone. Since she didn’t check him, he didn’t think how he acted caused it, so he keeps acting the same way, and continues being creepy. (thanks GIRLS!)

If she is in a happy, committed and serious relationship, then when she says that she has a BF= she means it and is letting you know so you aren’t wasting each others time.

So then that only leave #3. Which is the one that you can play with.

Again you have to THINK about WHY she brought up that she “has a boyfriend”. Most of the time, guys aren’t as direct as me, and if they are running indirect game and she drops the BF line, then that means you were triggering the I AM HITTING ON YOU switch in her brain. So to fix that, hold back on anything that she could be picking up as an indicator of interest, throw a disqualifier out there, or change up your stack.

 

If you are running more cocky/funny direct game, like I prefer, then when I deliver my statement of intent, it make it perfectly clear what my intentions are.
– and my mindset is I would always rather be the guy who went for it and gets rejected, than the guy sitting at home, ALONE, wishing he tried

 

My joke about guys hitting on her for a discount, is something I got from Seinfeld, I use it ALL the time, and even if I don’t get the girl I can almost always get a discount!!! (and most importantly it is FUN for me to use) so that is a FREE TOP SECRET opener for you guys, that works awesome on Hired Guns- you are welcome.

 

So did I get her phone number?

 

Yes!

How I use to respond to the BF line was with something like “Great, I am not looking for a GF, I am looking for someone just to have fun with” 😉  and then I would plow.

OR

“You don’t have to convince me that other people find you attractive” -or another cocky/funny line along those lines.

But then I saw The Break Up. My brother kept telling me to watch it because of the dirty dishes scene

Gary: “Fine, I’ll help you do the damn dishes.”

Brooke: “That’s not what I want. I want you to want to do the dishes.”

Gary: “Why would I want to do dishes?”

Again Vince Vaughn delivers.

But the scene that I thought was the best was the opening scene where he hits on Jennifer Aniston at the baseball game and then when she brings up that she has (and was with) her BF- he plows like a BOSS!!!

 

 

So I modified it and that is how I followed up with HBSales Girl.

 

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”

Me= “Are you going to marry him?

HBSales Girl= “I don’t know….I am only 23…I’m not thinking about marriage yet.

Me= “Then that is a NO!”

HBSales Girl= “no it’s NOT!”

Me= ” yes it is…because if it was a yes, you would’ve said YES, since you didn’t say yes…that means it’s a NO! 😉 I am pretty awesome and we might REALLY hit it off….so you kinda owe it to yourself to see if we click.  You seem like the type of girl who is into really good beer. Have you been to Angels Trumpet Ale House yet?”

HBSales Girl= “no, but I’ve been wanting to check it out!”

Me= “you have to! It’s awesome, tons of super cool beer from all over the place, you have to look at the chalkboard out back to see what they have. So I’ll take you there and we can grab a beer, give me your number and we can go sometime this week.

HBSales Girl= “Ok, here it is (writes it down) I’m looking forward to having a few beers with you! :D”

Me= “No I said A beer…not multiple beers….Right now it is taking every ounce of self control I have not to hop over this counter and just have my way with you. I can control myself if I have ONE beer…but if I have a couple….well I can’t promise you will be safe. ;)”

HBSales Girl= “OMG!!!! You are crazy…..OK I look forward to grabbing a few beers with you ;)”

Me= ” You are a baddddd girl ;)”

We walk out of the store and my student turns to me and says. “What just happened??? She said she had a boyfriend and then a few seconds later she is giving you her number….how is that even possible”

😀

 
So that is how I handle the BF line, when it RARELY comes up (it rarely comes up because if you are awesome, many a girl who has a BF will NEVER even mention it!)

  • Remain unfazed
  • Ask if she is going to marry him – if YES, then I would stand down
  • Anything other than YES, say “then that is a NO!” with a big smile
  • Tell her that you are probably going to hit it off and that she owes it to herself to see
  • Transition right into date plans (this girl had a rocker vibe so cold read her and went the beer route, also figured that she hadn’t been to this bar yet because it was fairly new and a bit of a drive from where she worked
  • Escalated and ABCed (Always Be Closing)

 

Point about my morals= I pushed this one a bit, to show what is possible in front of my student and to show off just a little.
If a girl legit has a BF I will not pursue her. I don’t want to be the guy who breaks them up, and I don’t want to possibly START a relationship with a girl on those terms. Many times the girl will later say that she doesn’t have a BF, that he was just someone she went on a few dates with, or she just ended a relationship. In that case=

 

Game on motherfucker!

Defend yourself RIGHT NOW!!!

Well not RIGHT now…but soon!

 

Before I was ever into the PUA scene, I was a firearms and tactical instructor.

Guys who don’t know this should check out this blog post- The Warrior Creed and this thread

On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs so they can understand my mindset and why I say,

You are not a man if you can not protect yourself, or your loved ones.

For those of you who don’t know, the Supreme Court has ruled that the police have NO duty to protect you.  (horrible case where women called the police for help, never got it and were raped and beaten for hours) that is why people take this topic so seriously.

One of the reasons why I moved back to Arizona was because California made it illegal for me to carry a firearm to defend myself. Nowadays I am always armed, and yet still fashionable! 😉

But what if you don’t have a self defense tool with you when you need it, or just don’t have one at all?

Situations such as-

  • in bed
  • in the shower
  • on the can
  • swimming
  • in an area where they are prohibited, and they check like an airport
  • working UC (UnderCover)
  • etc

Edged Weapon

In a recent Improvised Weapons Class I helped teach some SWAT and UC guys from various local agencies the selection and use of different “weapons of opportunity”. We covered 3 groups in the class-

1. Edged weapon

2. Impact weapons

3. Flexible weapons.

Each student was given a homework assignment to find 1 of each type of improvised weapon in their home. The next day they reported back with what they found and how they would use them.

If I decided to look around for a weapon while I was in the kitchen, I had access to more large knives than I could carry, a cast iron skillet that would make a nasty impact weapon, and a dish towel that I could use to choke or limb control someone with.

If I decided to look around while on the can….I had a lot less options (but still all 3 if you think about it).

So I want all the guys who read this, and on THE BRAVOHOOD, to do this drill with me.

Set your phone or watch alarm for 2:13pm tomorrow (tomorrow from whenever you read this) and as soon as you hear it going off, freeze (unless you are driving) and quickly scan your environment for weapons of opportunity and how you would employ them. Think about if an attack WERE to happen, where would they be coming from. How could you escape..is escape even an option? Would you have to fight your way THRU an exit?

For a 2nd drill, set a countdown timer on your phone for 27 mins after you wake up the following day, and when it goes off do the same drill.

 

If you want to set a few additional alarms to drill this multiple time= AWESOME. Just spread the times out randomly so they kind of surprise you.

 

Report back in the comments below and list at least 1 of each type of weapon that you could find when the alarm went off, and details on how you would use it to defend yourself (and others if applicable) and how you would then get to safety.

I will personally respond to each comment with feedback and tips in a few days (after I finish up with my 1on1 this weekend and want you guys to have enough time to try and to report back).

Project X with Bravo – Film

Since my divorce in 2005 I have been working on improving my life, especially on connecting with others, primarily women 😉 .

Since starting BravoPUA.com 3 years ago, I have learned more about teaching than all the previous years I was teaching Pick Up and Shooting, Knife Fighting, and Close Quarter Combat  (since 2000) combined!

I’ve kept my PRIVATE “bootcamp” event PROJECT X off the PUA radar, because I wasn’t sure it would even work.

Living together with students, spending every hour with them for days downloading as much info as I can…hell I wasn’t even sure if they were going to like what I was teaching let alone if it would blow up in my face.

PROJECT X, where I hand select the guys who can attend from an inbox full of applicants and invite them to Arizona so we can all work together and leave with memories and knowledge that will last a life.

At the end of the first one, something awesome happened. We were all brothers at the end.

The BROTHERHOOD was something I was hoping might happen, but never dreamed it would develop into anything as awesome as it did.

Guys were loving their newfound PUA skills, texting me in the middle of the night about some crazy adventure they just were on, guys were travelling across the world to hang out with their PX brothers- INCLUDING ME!

Well during the last one- PX4, I had Cinema come out and film some of it for you guys, so you can get a better idea about me, what I am about, what and how I teach, how those who attend can be transformed, and the bonding we all experience at PROJECT X.

It is my HUGE fucking honor to show you this short film and let you know that now, after 3+ years, I have trained enough Coaches and Jr. Coaches to MY INSANELY HIGH STANDARD that we can now offer PROJECT X more often and accept more applicants!

So check out this video and let me know what you think.

 

Warning:

I showed my mom this video and she didn’t like all the cussing and I don’t think she was fond of the student making out with a chick at the bar….

My dad asked me a while ago why don’t I advertise with “teaching nice guys how to meet nice women….or something like that” and I don’t think has ever believed what I do is a real job

but after watching this he said it was great and was  proud of me

so be careful, from those two reactions, this will either finally make you love me or make you feel like I am an even bigger disappointment than before and you still can’t understand why I put so much of my life on the “interweb”

😉

 

If you are ready to change your life, go to PROJECT X to apply and hopefully I will see you there.

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From Bravo-

After being featured in RULES OF THE GAME and travelling the world working for Style as his Executive Coach, I realized something

I teach MORE than just Pick Up, I help men, on a much deeper level, become the best version of themselves so they can meet, attract, & GET the woman of their dreams! -all while NOT relying on routines and cheesy pick up lines!

If you're ready to begin your transformation and want my help, please visit my coaching page.