Timez wrote:I also was able to tone down the confidence level a lot today - to the point where i felt like i was looking it - but not being a jerk at all.
This is something we all had to learn at the beginning. You gotta fake it til you make it, but along with that comes overdoing it. You come off looking just as insecure, but it's a step in the right direction. One day you'll wake up and it will have just clicked. Your body language will be right, you will start standing up for yourself and doing things because you want to do them not because someone else asked you to.
At first, for me, I was disagreeing with EVERYTHING people said. I felt like I had to constantly change plans so that I was in charge. But as I got more comfortable I realized that agreeing to someone else's idea is fine, so long as you want to do it.
As far as knowing when to go onto the next step of a structure, you'll learn to feel it. It's called "Calibration" and it's one of the most important skills in Pick up.
It sounds to me like you and I are very much alike. I'm very logical and analytical and I like to have a set of instructions to follow exactly. Unfortunately pick up isn't quite like that. Most of it is based on "feel". As in, you'll get a feel for it.
Check out NSM's thread on Routines and way points. Learn to small chunk your game (learn a little at a time, practice it, master it, then add a new step). And since it seems like you have a few inner game issues, make sure you check out NSM's and DJ's sunday flashchat and Smoothcalls Monday night flashchat. All three of those guys are amazing at inner game. I have NSM and DJ's phone numbers plugged into my Special red phone in case of emergencys