Got a gf in the last few days... but...

[Timez]

Hi,

Basiclly i got a GF in the last few days - we have been ok so far - except what happend tonight...

First night she went out drinking with our mutual friend and her boyfriend - who both like me. - but i wasnt there...

anyway got a text off her bf - who said - shes being chatted up...

next think i know i get a phone call from her friend saying ring her asap.

so i did - she told me the guy hitting on her asked her back to his place and without a second thought said ok...

then my mate and her bf were like ur taking the piss your supposed to be with darren - what are you doing come stay at mine...

she said no im going with this guy...

and they went to his van - my mates left - and told me she was with him for an hour...


she says they were just talking - and had 2 cigs (for an hour - yeah right)

at first she was saying it was a girl - not knowing i knew it was a guy - she admited it was - but still said they were just talking.

anyway she said he tried to kiss her and she pushed him away (dont think so)

i told her its over - because i know...

she is now turning on the waterworks and saying please give me another chance - and constally begging.

I keep saying no.

once she knew i knew - she said she was going back to our mates (which she did - but again an hour later since going with him)

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my question is - how do i deal with this - i wanna give her another chance - but i dont think i can - and dont think i should.

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do you think i should beleve her? or not?

Timez

[KingOfAces]

absolutely not. she's shady as fuck. fuck that.

[Timez]

lol yeah just wanted to confirm it lol - even if what she said was true etc...

Its still bad as fuck that she did that right? - even if 'nothing' happend - which i doubt lol?

thats a deal breaker in itself aint it? - oh she also tried to say she cudnt stay at her mates at first - thats why she did it - but her mate told me she blatelly tried to get her away from him by offering for her to stay at hers.

So i shoud stick to my guns and end it? - what about all this please please i love you i need you shit lol

all a load of bollox cos she was caught right?

her excuses were - she didnt know what she was thinking - and - and she was drunk - two non excuses in my book.

- anything i can say to really drive it home that she has blown it 100% without sounding too harsh - but enough so she clearly understands its not gonna happen anymore with me - and im no longer with her?

Timez

[KingOfAces]

you referred to her as your girlfriend, so i'm assuming that you guys are dating exclusively based off of that. if that's the case, then she is absolutely shady and she has changed her story to you regardless of what actually did or did not happen. fuck that.

if this is just some chick that you occasionally talk to and you guys are NOT dating exclusively, then she can do whatever she wants, as can you. if that's the case, why are your friends getting involved and causing drama and this isn't even a conversation you should be having because she's free to do whatever.

but i'm assuming the first scenario, since you said you "got a gf in the last few days". don't EVER stay with a chick that is shady and does shit behind your back...

[Timez]

yeah we was exclusive. - she keeps saying - please give me one more chance - i promise ill make it upto you - and i wont even do anything like that again... tbh tho - i just cant - like i said to her - her chance was before she did it. - and i told her before we even got together - trust and honesty are my deal breakers.

ok well its over - and between me and you - i was kinda looking for a get out clause this whole time - she gave me one herself

Timez

[Timez]

I am kinda considering giveing her a final chance (and i do mean FINAL)...

I mean maybe nothing did happen - and her friend (whos also my friend) said she seems to really regret it and is sure nothing happend with them because of the way she is acting about it all.

i mean techniclly - sitting in a van talking to someone - isnt exactlly cheating is it...?


I am running this one by you lot first tho...

So on the assumption she didnt do anything execpt talk to the guy for an hour...

Do you think she should get that chance or not?

if not - change to fuck friend?

or something like that? like a non exclusive relationship?

(really i wanna give her the chance tho - because im pretty sure nothing did happen - i can usually sense it if it did)

If she blows that chance - i wont even be asking what to do on here - it will just be over - and for good this time.

But i want your say first.

Thank you

Timez

[Jay-T]

I say next her. The issue for me isn't that she hung out with another guy, because I have female friends and no g/f will ever stop me from hanging out with people I want to hang out with and I won't ask that of her either. The issue for me is she lied about it, then changed her story when she knew she was busted. That's bullshit. I don't taking lying very well.

Moving forward though, you need to set clear boundaries on what's acceptable and what isn't. That was a lack of a strong frame on your part. Women are like children, you have to set clear and constant boundaries or they will see what they can get away with.

[Rogue4Life]

Nope, she's done.


What makes you think that she won't ever do this again? Especially the lying part.


And you even said that this is a GF you got "in the last few days".....

If she pulls some shit like this and you've only been with her for around a week....what do you think she'll do after a month....or 3 months...or a year etc.

Man up and move on, imo. Set boundaries as Jay-T mentioned. That should be something very clear you need to start on the get-go.



And honestly, I'm willing to bet that if you take her back and give her another "chance", she will relate this to you having a weak frame...and she will do this shit again in the future.

[Timez]

ok - but you dont think i should just make her a fuck friend then? lol - if we aint exclusive i dont care what she does - and ill get to just fuck her - lol


Also i did set boundries - or at least i thought i did - before i even knew she liked me - i told her how i dont do lies - and i dont do cheating - or the girl is out with no second chances.

Yet she still did it.

Timez

[KingOfAces]

why do you come here and a question like this and get very clear answers to your question and then pay it no regard? you didn't even get "advice" for your question, you got the answer. this is a no brainer. and now you're saying you are gonna give her another chance? do whatever you want. but why did you waste everyone's time by posting this then? glad i took a few minutes out of my day to respond twice to your post to help you, and then you have no intention of even listening. go do what you want. i'm sure this relationship will work out amazingly.

you're frame with the girl and also on this thread is very AFC-like and you need to start working on that if you're trying to change yourself.